Last night I began playing around with some absolutely yummy fabrics in colors that would have pleased my Mother if she were still alive. I was just having fun. I cut into this gorgeous tawny brown background that had peach and coral flowers that was just slightly oriental in nature. I found several lovely fabrics to go with it. Actually, I've been kinda ruminating on these colors for days, now that I think about it.
http://quiltville.blogspot.com/2005/06/strip-twist. from Bonnie K. Hunter's free pattern over on Quiltville, but to do it as a controlled scrappy plan rather than completely random lights and darks.
The more I worked on selecting fabrics and cutting them out,
I cut out lots of long 2 1/2" strips and as I sewed them together I enjoyed memories of my Mother sewing "Mother-Daughter" matching navy blue and white dresses for my sister, Suzanne and me when I was five.
I sewed and lamented the lingering death by inches due to complications of Dementia that she endured, three thousand miles from me. I would call her every day. As her brain cells turned to Swiss cheese, she was unable to figure out which end of the telephone receiver to hold to her ear unless a nurse helped her.
I guess that's why I was glad that she finally died in December of 2006. I missed her terribly but I could not cry about it. Her terrible struggle was over. She had gone home to God. All my emotions were so conflicted then.
So last night, I sewed and cut and cried. And then I realized that this is a Grief Quilt that I am working on to heal my own sense of loss. Something to comfort me. Something to celebrate the colors that gave her joy. Something to remind me of her personal journey. It is just a beginning.